Man of Steele

Dr. Steele, or more affectionately known by me, "The Man of Steele" is our neurosurgeon.  He's an interesting character.  You never know what is going to come out of his mouth.  He is a brilliant man, he doesn't act like a neurosurgeon, he's fun.  He'll be talking at levels so far above you and not realize you are no longer on the same page.  Prior to becoming a neurosurgeon, he was a pilot.  He must have gotten bored flying!

Dr. Steel putting in a ventric...note the slippers

The one comment that really cracks me up is "You know, the First Sergeant and Chief are pretty arrogant...I think so and I'm a Neuro Surgeon!"  He has a way of putting things just right.  When he'd see a young military person with an injury, especially to his penis, he's make sure to tell him "No worries you'll be up and fuckin' in no time."  You never knew what would come out!



The "Steele" Salute



His family is a priority.  There is never a night you can't go into the hall and see him skyping with his family.  The whole hospital knew it was "his" time.  He would put in a ventric or a bolt while in his night clothes and he believed he could fix anything, even if we knew it was a lost cause.

I think what makes me laugh the most is his salute.  You can walk by him and render him a salute and he always returns the Peace sign.  Tovar and I would crack up everytime we'd see him do it, it's the Steele Salute!

Redeploying

I’m not sure which is harder, the beginning of the deployment or the end.  Right now I’m sitting in my room and just wishing the next seven weeks would fly by.  I miss my boys so much and I realize how much I have missed in their lives this last few months.  I have a picture of them by my bed (it used to talk to me but one of my lovely roommates erased it).   I think about Christmas day and them opening presents without me there to see their joy, Konner’s birthday eating pizza and having fun with their friends, Kodi going to the state capital during Spring break, my Granddaughter’s first birthday and Easter coming up.  All these things I wish I had been there to be part of it.  I grew up in the military and never really missed my dad when he would leave, but he was never gone more than a few weeks.  I know wearing this uniform is something I have always wanted; I never felt complete until I was wearing it but it does come with a huge cost.  

The first half of the deployment I really tried to Skype with them as much as possible but I guess life got too busy at home because they are hardly online.  I do try and call but it’s usually when they’re about to go somewhere or they’re a little busy and don’t have much to say.  I just like to hear their little voices and I love when they tell me they love me, “with all my heart”. 

I’m afraid when I get home what things will be like.  Will they still want to sit in the chair and cuddle when we watch a movie?  Will they be excited to see me?  How will it be between Tom and I?  There are so many questions I have and no answers.   Part of me is very excited to go home and try to normalize and the other part is a little scared of what will be there when I get home.  I know I’m not the only one to go through this but it is my story.

Random Thoughts

Nursing Purple Heart

This entry is going to be somewhat random.  I haven't written anything for a while so I just thought I'd jot some stuff down.  To start, I came up with a "Nursing Purple Heart" because we have been dealing with some very combative patients.  Some of us have been injured by our patients and the only recourse we have is to grin and bear it.  Sometimes we can't medicate them or restrain them because they become more dangerous.  So, in order to deal with it, I had some Velcro purple hearts with a band aid sash made up and we made certificates and our wonderful flight commander awards them.  I posted this on Facebook and my "friend" (using the term loosely)decided he was offended.  This person hasn't asked me how I am or if I need anything since I've been deployed for the last four months, and the only comment he has made is his opinion.  Tom and I have done a lot for this couple but they are very selfish.  I guess we've run out of things we can do for them.  He's getting deployed soon, maybe he'll get it then.

Yesterday I had a patient in bed 13 who was a bilateral amputee, Tony.  I mention the names of these people because they are important to me.  Tony had his legs amputated on the same day his first child was born.  I can only imagine the thoughts going through his mind..."will I be able to be a normal father to him?"  I tried keeping a positive attitude for Tony's sake but inside my heart was breaking.  His wife sent me a picture of the baby so I could print it and give it to him, but thanks to the wonderful Internet connectivity, I didn't get it in time.  I will have it forwarded to Germany so he can get it there.  I don't want him to think I let him down.

The next rambling is about today's patient in bed 13, Brandon.  Brandon has a catastrophic brain injury meaning we are keeping his body alive until he can get to Germany for his family to take him off life support.  This poor kid is only 21.  I held it together most of the day until one of his fellow soldiers showed up and he started to cry.  I held him too.  We're supposed to be there for the families as well as the patient, and this guy may not have been blood but he was family.  I was good again until the patient started crashing and we were doing treatments just to keep his body functioning.  When I gave report, I cracked when I made the comment how his mother's heart must be broken and it made me think of P.J. and Alex.  This boy is my children's age.

I did get a wonderful letter from my niece, Madison, yesterday.  It was so cute, but it means so much.  I rewrote it in it's entirety, misspellings and all:

Dear Aunt Keirry,

                          I miss yo so much.  Are you okay because I heard you where in the war? How many rommates do you have? I hope you don't have a lot. I hope you can call me some more before you go in the real war. When is the war going to begin? I heard you got in trouble because you woke up one of your roommates. Did you see your children open their Christmas presents? Did you get them something for Christmas? If you did I hope it was something nice. Like legos or a D.S. game. Are you going to do a real war? I sure hope you don't because I don't want you to get hurt. Are your children being good with their dad? Do they miss you a lot? If they do I have the same feeling. Do you have a mean boss? Is your boss like my sister? I hope not because my sister is very mean. When are you going to call me again? When are you going back home?

                                                                                                                Your love
                                                                                                                Madison

The perspective of an eight year old is amazing.  How do you explain the war was happening before she was even thought of?  What is her thoughts of a "real" war?  This letter brought several smiles to all of us today when I read it aloud to my co-workers.

Speaking of my co-workers, we were amazing today.  Seventy-percent of our patients were Americans and that is a complete turn around from what it has been.  It seems this afternoon we put all the petty crap aside and focused on what was important.  As emotionally sad as today was, it was just as gratifying to see how we came together for a common cause.