I know I usually write about patients and my days at work but today I just want to talk about my day off. I was afraid I might not get it because yesterday we got a mass cal and we were going to fill up. Tovar was on call and he got called in, so I spent most of the day alone.
I woke up around 0630 and decided to do laundry. I changed sheets and one of my old roommates left a feather bed topper, so I snagged it and made my bed. I was able to Skype with Tom and Kodi so that was good. We had a little bit of a conversation, said our "I love you's" and then I went into work and did some laundry. After laundry, I came home and did some "me" things. First I watched a little Nip/Tuck. Yes, soft porn but awesome story lines! After watching I decided to take a shower and pamper myself. I "shiseidoed", meaning I used my Shiseido and moisturized my face and did a Retin A treatment to my eyes. The very moment I did that, Tovar knocks on my door. I had to hurry out because I knew he'd crack up and wake up my roommate...and he did.
After I finished with the pampering, we went to lunch. Meals at the DFAC are ALWAYS an adventure. It just amazes me the military wants their members to be in their best physical shape yet feeds them the worst food ever. There is so much fat and salt in this food it's unbelievable.
Afterward, we walked to the BX and just hung out a bit. I came back to my room and just enjoyed being alone. All my roommates are out and about so I have this place all to myself. I really felt like this was ok this morning as I lay in my bed and for the first time since being here, felt very little stress. My roommates are easy to get along with and although we each have different personalities and different backgrounds but we seem to be doing ok and getting along well.
That is my day off, boring but necessary.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Justin
I had a patient yesterday named Justin. Justin is a 22 year old Marine in the infantry. He was the point man in his unit and he was the best IED locator in his unit. His whole unit admired him because he could spot an IED before anyone else, except yesterday.
Justin has a wife that he's known since they were babies and he also has a two year old son, which is great because that IED took his testicles along with his right leg, half his left and damaged his penis (this can be surgically repaired). The memorable thing about Justin is his attitude. When he was extubated the first thing he asked for was his wedding ring. His comment was "my wife will kill me if I lose it". Since the IED didn't take him, I wasn't going to let his wife kill him over a wedding ring. We located it and put it around his neck, next to his heart.
When he was more awake, he shared some stories of the firefights he's encountered. He told us one where his unit was surrounded in a horseshoe and after they fought and killed all the bad guys on the right, they tried to escape and had another three hour fight with the guys on the left. Twenty-two.
When Justin came in, he had tattoos on his arm of baby footprints and another that said "Rest in Peace Caleb". We were concerned his little boy was the deceased Caleb and now he will not have any others. Thankfully that was not the case. He named his baby after his best friend. When Justin was told of his injuries, his comment regarding the loss of his testicles was "well I got me one baby, and that's all I need." After being told about his legs, his next comment was "Cool, now I can get me one of them bouncy legs and I'll really do well on my PT test." He also told us how before he left, those old guys at the VFW told him "You don't know nothin' about war. I was in (name your war) and gone for two years. You only have to serve six months to a year." Justin said "Now I can go back and show those Mother eFr's, I know war. I aint' got no leg!"
I think this war is the worst war by far. One of the folks I am deployed with, Tovar is a five time deployer. His comments about the injuries are these are the worst injuries he's ever seen. That's a scary thought. All these mangled bodies coming home and the resources required to rehabilitate them.
I'm not sorry we're here. I know a lot of people look at this war and wonder why do we care. Here is the reason we care. Afghanistan was a beautiful country with thriving people, They had the number 10 medical school in Asia and they were a peaceful people. The Russians came in and decided they wanted to take over. Short story, this country has been at war for 30+ years and the people have lost a generation of knowledge. We are here to help them regain that knowledge and help them become the nation they once were. I know this to be true, today I taught four Afghan docs about burn care. With all the tragedy and sadness will come hope and courage.
Justin has a wife that he's known since they were babies and he also has a two year old son, which is great because that IED took his testicles along with his right leg, half his left and damaged his penis (this can be surgically repaired). The memorable thing about Justin is his attitude. When he was extubated the first thing he asked for was his wedding ring. His comment was "my wife will kill me if I lose it". Since the IED didn't take him, I wasn't going to let his wife kill him over a wedding ring. We located it and put it around his neck, next to his heart.
When he was more awake, he shared some stories of the firefights he's encountered. He told us one where his unit was surrounded in a horseshoe and after they fought and killed all the bad guys on the right, they tried to escape and had another three hour fight with the guys on the left. Twenty-two.
When Justin came in, he had tattoos on his arm of baby footprints and another that said "Rest in Peace Caleb". We were concerned his little boy was the deceased Caleb and now he will not have any others. Thankfully that was not the case. He named his baby after his best friend. When Justin was told of his injuries, his comment regarding the loss of his testicles was "well I got me one baby, and that's all I need." After being told about his legs, his next comment was "Cool, now I can get me one of them bouncy legs and I'll really do well on my PT test." He also told us how before he left, those old guys at the VFW told him "You don't know nothin' about war. I was in (name your war) and gone for two years. You only have to serve six months to a year." Justin said "Now I can go back and show those Mother eFr's, I know war. I aint' got no leg!"
I think this war is the worst war by far. One of the folks I am deployed with, Tovar is a five time deployer. His comments about the injuries are these are the worst injuries he's ever seen. That's a scary thought. All these mangled bodies coming home and the resources required to rehabilitate them.
I'm not sorry we're here. I know a lot of people look at this war and wonder why do we care. Here is the reason we care. Afghanistan was a beautiful country with thriving people, They had the number 10 medical school in Asia and they were a peaceful people. The Russians came in and decided they wanted to take over. Short story, this country has been at war for 30+ years and the people have lost a generation of knowledge. We are here to help them regain that knowledge and help them become the nation they once were. I know this to be true, today I taught four Afghan docs about burn care. With all the tragedy and sadness will come hope and courage.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Turrets Today
Today was pretty interesting. I think I had a case of turrets, there were so many aggravating things. The first was my patient, Jorge. This poor kid is 19, Marine and was a photographer. Why you ask was he in our ICU? He was there becasue while performing his non-combat duty, he stepped on an IED. He lost both his legs, four fingers on the left and mangled the right. He has a good chunk taken out of his butt and has an open belly wound. This kid is not your typical "warrior". He was taking pictures. I did reassure him of a few things; 1) he could still take pictures and 2) his butt was still cute enough to attract a nice young lady and 3) he still had his penis. I think that's important for these guys, they can still function sexually.
I remember when I had my tubes tied, I felt like my femininty was gone. It was a terrible feeling and I mourned the loss of not being able to have children (yes, Konner came afterward but at the time I had no idea that could happen).
I felt so much annoyance with everything today, especially with the contractor that I admitted. Yes, he was admitted to the ICU for "asthma exacerbation". He WALKED into the ER, yet was admitted to us. He had no drips to include IV fluids, only that he could have an inhaler treatment every 4 hours if needed. What a joke! Then when I asked him about his asthma, he said he had it in Balad, went home and then came to Afghanistan. What, did he think the air here is any better for him!! I am so tired of these contractors who are not healthy enough to be in this kind of environment coming here with their chronic illness and taking up valuable resources. We've had too many lately and if their companies were held accountable for sending these chornically diseased people into this environment, maybe they would screen them a little more closely. But we can hold people accountable, we just need to not have enough for our folks who are actually fighting here and require care.
I hope my turrets is cured tomorrow, but I'll go to the gym in the morning and work out some of this anger on the weights and machine.
I remember when I had my tubes tied, I felt like my femininty was gone. It was a terrible feeling and I mourned the loss of not being able to have children (yes, Konner came afterward but at the time I had no idea that could happen).
I felt so much annoyance with everything today, especially with the contractor that I admitted. Yes, he was admitted to the ICU for "asthma exacerbation". He WALKED into the ER, yet was admitted to us. He had no drips to include IV fluids, only that he could have an inhaler treatment every 4 hours if needed. What a joke! Then when I asked him about his asthma, he said he had it in Balad, went home and then came to Afghanistan. What, did he think the air here is any better for him!! I am so tired of these contractors who are not healthy enough to be in this kind of environment coming here with their chronic illness and taking up valuable resources. We've had too many lately and if their companies were held accountable for sending these chornically diseased people into this environment, maybe they would screen them a little more closely. But we can hold people accountable, we just need to not have enough for our folks who are actually fighting here and require care.
I hope my turrets is cured tomorrow, but I'll go to the gym in the morning and work out some of this anger on the weights and machine.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Fallen Heroes
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| Standing in formation |
Tonight I attended The Fallen Hero ceremony. It is a very solemn ceremony dedicated to those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. We were told there would be three; it was five. The ceremony started at 2100, the flightline was very dark with only a few lights and of course, it was a cold, drizzling rain. As the five humvees drove up containing the caskets, a soldier led the way. First came the colors, then came the commanders and finally the fallen heroes. They were marched passed all of us in formation, saluting them as they were carried through the back of the C-17 that would carry them home.
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| Color Guard |
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| Preparing for home |
We entered the plane to give our final rendering of respects. The chaplain says a few words and a prayer and reads each of the names. Tonight, five husbands, brothers, sons will fly home one last time to their grieving families. These are five we couldn't save. Each of us approaches the casket as a group, renderes a solemn salute and kneels. We each say a private thank you to these men. We rise and render another solemn salute, left face and move onto the next one. This continues until the back of the plane is empty and the five coffins remain...quietly.
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| Fallen Hero |
Tonight I will say a prayer before I go to bed for each of these five men and their families.
The pictures I have posted are not of the ceremony I attended but of another previous. Sadly, we have the opportunity to attend them...a lot.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Why we are here
The last couple of days we've had patients who really made me angry that they were even admitted. The first was a lousy contractor who decided it would be fun to "experiement" with Ambien, so he took 20. Jerk! He ended up coding and we had to use valuable resources in order to resuscitate hime! I know some of the nurses I work with feel that way about the people here because of the lack of health care but I feel that way about someone who purposely inflicts stupidity on themselves.
The second person, again a contractor, decided to get drunk and then fall down two flights of stairs. Again, inflicted her own trauma and again, I have zero empathy for her. What a waste of resources when we can be using them for our blown up soldiers.
In the beginning of this blog I felt sorry for the Enemy Prisoner of War (EPW) that we have been and are still caring for, primarily because I thought "he's only fighting for what he believes in". This may be true, however, the patient we got tonight made me tear up.
An 11 year old boy was admitted because the Taliban attacked his family with an ax, YES I SAID AN AX! Who the hell attacks a family with an ax? This poor baby will be physically ok but these children here have seen so much misery and sorrow. This baby hardly shed a tear...what kind of child doesn't cry when he's attacked with an ax? I have so much anger I know I would have no probelm finding this Taliban member and ripping his scrotum off through his nose! God I hope we can bring some kind of peace to this miserable country who has experienced so much destruction and sorrow. This is the reason we are here. Now I must go shed some tears.
The second person, again a contractor, decided to get drunk and then fall down two flights of stairs. Again, inflicted her own trauma and again, I have zero empathy for her. What a waste of resources when we can be using them for our blown up soldiers.
In the beginning of this blog I felt sorry for the Enemy Prisoner of War (EPW) that we have been and are still caring for, primarily because I thought "he's only fighting for what he believes in". This may be true, however, the patient we got tonight made me tear up.
An 11 year old boy was admitted because the Taliban attacked his family with an ax, YES I SAID AN AX! Who the hell attacks a family with an ax? This poor baby will be physically ok but these children here have seen so much misery and sorrow. This baby hardly shed a tear...what kind of child doesn't cry when he's attacked with an ax? I have so much anger I know I would have no probelm finding this Taliban member and ripping his scrotum off through his nose! God I hope we can bring some kind of peace to this miserable country who has experienced so much destruction and sorrow. This is the reason we are here. Now I must go shed some tears.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Faith and Hope
Chrissy, I dedicate this post to you. First, please don't lose faith in our military or nursing. For the few bad ones out there, there are more awesome ones and I saw that today. Col McNeill, our flight commander, took patients today because we were short. She hasn't done bedside nursing in a while but she took those patients so she didn't have to call in the on-call nurse...to give him a day off. This is a woman who hasn't taken a day off since she's been here. That is awesome leadership and I would walk through hot coals for her if she asked (I only hope she would let me wear shoes too). This woman jumps in every time we need a hand; she loaded bags onto the pallets when we were in Manas, she spent two hours with all the rest of us cleaning the dorm and thanked Tovar and I for coming in on our day off, when she simply could have just called us in.
There is another amazing woman who is our Chief Nurse, Col Hughes. She has the same personable attitude as Col McNeill and today she jumped in and helped when we were taking too many patients. She knows everyone, makes them feel genuinely appreciated and doesn't mind getting dirty when she has to. These two women are who I want to emulate in my leadership practice.
It's amazing people like these who help the rest of us have that faith and hope. When we see the others not demonstrating the core values we were all taught; integrity, service before self and excellence in all we do, people like these two women help those of us who are struggling to stay on the right path. Never lose faith or hope but make sure those around you are held to the higher standard and hold them accountable.
There is another amazing woman who is our Chief Nurse, Col Hughes. She has the same personable attitude as Col McNeill and today she jumped in and helped when we were taking too many patients. She knows everyone, makes them feel genuinely appreciated and doesn't mind getting dirty when she has to. These two women are who I want to emulate in my leadership practice.
It's amazing people like these who help the rest of us have that faith and hope. When we see the others not demonstrating the core values we were all taught; integrity, service before self and excellence in all we do, people like these two women help those of us who are struggling to stay on the right path. Never lose faith or hope but make sure those around you are held to the higher standard and hold them accountable.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Patient Advocates
Today was interesting. I was taking care of a one year old baby who was brought to us because he had a brain tumor and hydrocephalus. We have invested a lot of time and money into this child to hopefully make him better. While I was doing my daily cares, one of them being a dressing change on his skull, I noticed the bandage was dated 3 Jan. The tech I happened to be working with said he and the another nurse changed that on the morning of 3 Jan. These dressing changes are supposed to happen each shift! I looked at the MAR and three nurses charted they had done this dressing change! I brought this up to Col McNeill and she let me know she was pissed, not at me but at the nurses who fraudulently charted.
I am now the outcast. My fellow nurses feel I should have gone to each one of them individually and let them know. I disagree. What I did is advocate for my patient. This baby isn't as pretty as the other one so I think some people tend to ignore him. I didn't falsify my charting, I just didn't check the tube feed pump to ensure it was on (and yes, I took my licks for that). It seems some of these people have forgotten what it means to be a nurse. We are supposed to advocate for our patient, tell the docs when they're wrong and try to help this patient get whatever it is they need. It took me all of two minutes to change this dressing, why lie about it? Please remember Kerrie, it's the patient you are working for, not yourself.
I am now the outcast. My fellow nurses feel I should have gone to each one of them individually and let them know. I disagree. What I did is advocate for my patient. This baby isn't as pretty as the other one so I think some people tend to ignore him. I didn't falsify my charting, I just didn't check the tube feed pump to ensure it was on (and yes, I took my licks for that). It seems some of these people have forgotten what it means to be a nurse. We are supposed to advocate for our patient, tell the docs when they're wrong and try to help this patient get whatever it is they need. It took me all of two minutes to change this dressing, why lie about it? Please remember Kerrie, it's the patient you are working for, not yourself.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
New Year's Eve
New Year's is a time to reflect on the old and look forward to the new. I started out thinking this would be a good close of the year but it isn't. Our unit had a party and that was fun. I had started working toward our little Sabid home to pass away. I came home and logged onto the computer, had a great skype connection with the family and then I read the message from my daughter. That's when things turned sour. I know that New Year's is all about Auld Lang Syne but there are some things you can't let go of and you can't forget.
I know this posting is a little late but life has been a little busy. We have had three attacks since the New Year so I haven't had a lot of computer time. Funny, some people are very complacent and others take the warnings very seriously. I think what annoys me most is the complacency. We have had several Americans with missing limbs, genitals and organs in the short time I've been here. I don't want to be one of those poor souls. I'll don my IBA and go in the hall and wait.
When I skyped the family the other day, I didn't realize how easy I'm taking all of this. While skyping, I moved on the bed and Kodi thought I was in the middle of an earthquake. My response was "oh no, no earthquake, just bombs and rockets." He got a little worried so I reassured him I was in no danger. We had one attack and four Americans were injured. Thankfully, they were minor.
An update to Sabid. We were able to place her at the Kabul Burn Center. I know it sounds like "Wow, maybe we can save her" but the reality is she was too burned to be saved. She lasted five weeks with us on the unit and the Afghanistan hospitals are not up to U.S. standards. Why, you ask, did we send her? I feel good knowing that we gave her wonderful care, sent her in the best possible condition and she will be able to say goodbye to her family. If she were to have stayed with us, she would never have seen them again. My eyes welled up with tears but my heart knows it was for the best. Happy New Year.
I know this posting is a little late but life has been a little busy. We have had three attacks since the New Year so I haven't had a lot of computer time. Funny, some people are very complacent and others take the warnings very seriously. I think what annoys me most is the complacency. We have had several Americans with missing limbs, genitals and organs in the short time I've been here. I don't want to be one of those poor souls. I'll don my IBA and go in the hall and wait.
When I skyped the family the other day, I didn't realize how easy I'm taking all of this. While skyping, I moved on the bed and Kodi thought I was in the middle of an earthquake. My response was "oh no, no earthquake, just bombs and rockets." He got a little worried so I reassured him I was in no danger. We had one attack and four Americans were injured. Thankfully, they were minor.
An update to Sabid. We were able to place her at the Kabul Burn Center. I know it sounds like "Wow, maybe we can save her" but the reality is she was too burned to be saved. She lasted five weeks with us on the unit and the Afghanistan hospitals are not up to U.S. standards. Why, you ask, did we send her? I feel good knowing that we gave her wonderful care, sent her in the best possible condition and she will be able to say goodbye to her family. If she were to have stayed with us, she would never have seen them again. My eyes welled up with tears but my heart knows it was for the best. Happy New Year.
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